There You Were

It has been an incredibly difficult week for me. Scratch that. It's been an incredibly difficult year plus for me. I know that I sometimes to try to put on this air of confidence that I have it all figured out. I don't. In fact, the truth is, I feel like I am this close to losing "it" some days.

Yesterday in particular, I was in such despair. Stress literally made me so sick, I felt like I had the flu. It was in this moment that I was completely honest with God:

"I don't think I can do this. Please, pick someone else. I don't know how to serve you in this. I don't know what you want. You are asking too much from me."

I usually to try to be obedient and willing to do God's will. But to be completely honest, yesterday, I did not want to...at all. If I can be completely honest, I'm not sure if I am fully there yet.

In my moments of self-pity, I typically turn to Facebook, the phone, or sleep. But yesterday, I went to some Christan blogs. In my readings, I was reminded of some of the Biblical greats who were asked with some heavy tasks. Joesph, the three Hebrew boys, Paul, Jesus, just to name a few. These men suffered greatly but kept God at the center.

In Genesis, after Joesph was sold into slavery, unjustly thrown into prison, and forgotten by man. The Bible states, "The Lord was with Joesph" (Genesis 37-50).

Please remember that the Lord is not a respecter of persons. If God was with Joseph in everything, he will be with you too.



Every test should result in a testimony. "I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church." - Paul (Colossians 1:24)

Paul. He's seriously has to be in my top 5 of favorite Biblical people. He's amazing. He suffered tremendously but still learned to be "content." Through his challenges, he kept his joy and his peace which can only come from Christ. (Philippians 4--seriously read it).

Jesus in the midst of sweating blood, prayed for God's will to be done. (Luke 22:42-44)

These men provide amazing examples of keeping the faith in the midst of chaos; however, today, I am more like Moses. The man with flaws who asked God to pick someone else. The man who was fearful of the task in front of him. The man that ran away from his problems. The man who made mistakes. The man who God who had chosen. The man who God called to himself. The man who God walked with to do incredible things.

Sometimes, we all are like Moses. We are so focused on the task in front of us that our vision on God becomes cloudy. While we may not be called to lead a group of people out of slavery, the premise stays the same. God will be with us and strengthen us to do things that are beyond us. He will lift our heads. He will give us strength and comfort. He will be God over your life if you allow him to be.

  You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God

-Avalon

God understands. He will be with you and fight every battle you face (2 Chronicles 20:15, Psalm 46:10). He's right there with you.

Love,

Courtney