To the one who struggles with singleness.
You may not be struggling with singleness as hard as some. But if you're like me, sometimes there are days and weeks where you LOVE being single and other times you're not a fan.
I want to be transparent here because it's a little taboo to admit that you need help on this topic. So many single, Christian women appear to have it all together and don't struggle, and I will be the first to admit that I struggle sometimes. The great thing about being a follower of Christ is that he helps us through the hard times.
I have people in my life who straight up ask me, "Why are you single?" I'm sure most people mean well when they butt into your relationship (uh, lack of relationship) life. So apply patience and love to even the hardest questions (James 1:19).
It is hard to focus on enjoying this season when there is so much pressure, but let me ask you this...Who's in your ear? Is it the people who tell you what to do with your life or is it the Voice of Truth who holds your life in His hand?
Jesus speaks peace. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you..." John 14:27. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Isaiah 26:3.
Fix your eyes on Jesus and keep re-fixing your eyes (Psalm 121:1-2). Don't lose focus.
The cold, hard truth is this, we are placed on this earth to serve the one true God, Jesus. Everything else is secondary. Your relationship status? Secondary. Your desire for marriage? Secondary. Your want to have children? Secondary.
Don't let things that are secondary become your primary focus.
Tips on how to do this?
1. Stay busy. "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31. How are you waiting? Are you just sitting around on standby until God moves how you like? Or, are you serving Him and others? Is your focus on pleasing the Lord, or is it on waiting around in idle mode until some guy pops into your life?
2. Stop your Pintrest wedding board and the like. Shift your focus on a day that might happen in the future and transfer it to the ever present King of Kings.
3. Stop your daydreams about guys. Stop imagining conversations with the guy you like. Stop imagining your future wedding day. Stop going back and forth on if he likes your not. If he does, he'll let you know. It is all so distracting. Seriously though, this is one point that I definitely still need prayer on. As I ended my day recently, I was convicted in that I thought more about this guy than I did talking to God. In cases like these, I have to ask, who is your god? Are you making a man or a relationship status your idol? "There is a war for your worship"- Alex Faith. What you feed grows. So stop feeding vain ideologies and cast down EVERY thought that tries to exalt itself up against the knowledge of God and bring EVERY thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
4. Don't compromise. Remember who you are as a child of God. You don't have to settle. You do not have to go on every date you get asked on. You do not have to worry about your future, God is already working it out for your good (Matthew 6:34, Romans 8:28).
5. Get friends who understand. It's always nice to have someone in your corner who you can be honest with and vent to.
6. Enjoy life. Take girls trips. Get to know yourself. Love yourself. Eat cereal for dinner. Live your life now, don't just wait until a guy comes along.
7. Grow closer to God. "And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit." 1 Corinthians 7:33. What better time to focus solely on Jesus when you're single?
You are not alone. You are special. You are one of a kind. Enjoy this single season.
Love,
Courtney
