Boys, boys, boys.

Truth. This is not a blog that I initially wanted to write. 
Honestly. It had to be done. 

I know that the devil has been trying hard to get me down and out, and he's been trying so many things. 

The newest tactic? Males. 

Part of me feels like this shouldn't be an issue to have struggled with. Last year this time, God used me to lead a group of women on how to live pure lives. Of course, swinging with the right men was an important topic of discussion. However, I compromised a little too much in the past few months. 

So, a little background about me...my dating life in my past has pretty much sucked. Not to mention, it's been over 2 years since I've really talked to a guy. And then all of a sudden, guys appeared out of the blue. Skinny guys, heavyset guys, black guys, white guys, educated guys, uneducated guys. They wanted to talk to me. To me?! Nothing was really serious, a few flirt partners here and there and phone numbers. 

There was this one guy I connected with...We knew each other when we were younger, and we reconnected. At first he started asking me about Christianity, and I was excited to discuss Jesus! I wasn't even thinking about catching feelings. Eventually, our conversations turned into everything about life. His true feelings about Jesus (thinking he's a myth) came out. The problem is that I started to get feelings for him.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Galatians 6:1 (I think it's important to help people get to Christ, but you have to make sure that you're strong enough to not get tempted by their sinful lifestyle. Also, it's great to witness, but if they are not receptive, it's okay to move on).

The thing is that we have to be careful who we allow in our circle of influence. Yes, we want to led others to Christ, but remember the devil also uses people to lead people astray. Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals." 1 Corinthians 15:33. 

To make a long story short....I allowed myself to become emotionally attached to this guy because I lost focus of God. I've moved to a new city recently, started a new job,  met new friends, went to a few bars, struggled to find a church, struggled to pray and connect to Christ. The thing is that I'm in one of the most difficult seasons of my life, and not having that Christ centered life has led me open to spiritual attacks. While I'm probably not where I was spiritually this time last year, I'm thankful that God is a forgiving God who allows me to start over and take it a day at a time. This is no excuse for sin, it's a realization that I'm a sinner in need of a savior. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--- this I keep on doing. Romans 7:19. 

The thing is that we can be spiritually attacked by the enemy to get us off track. The devil will often use temptation, but remember God always provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). When God provides a way out, take it! The thing about being tempted by sin is that the sin appears to make us feel alive, yet that very sin ultimately leads to death (John 10:10).

It was hard to walk away from this guy because there is a fear that something better won't come around. Christians should never settle in anything. If my awesome Christian husband were to come tomorrow, then it would make this single season so much easier. But I'm realizing that God's timing is perfect, and if my hubs never comes, I'm still going to be obedient to God. I cannot give up certain things in expectation of an award, I give up worldly things because I'm a spiritual being focused on serving my heavenly Father. I do my obedience to Christ, not for myself. It's all a part of picking up my cross and laying my life down in surrender. 

P.S.---Shout out to my spiritual sisters for talking sense into me over and over again. Thanks. Love you all!

Peace and Love. 

Oceans

There's this Hillsong United song that says, 

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me."

I got to the point where I didn't want to sing this song because I was drowning. Drowning in my issues, my concerns, my worries, my fears. So, singing a song titled "Oceans" was not something I was down for. 

Then I realized that asking the Lord to lead me where my trust is without boarders doesn't necessarily mean that I get more problems. It means that my problems won't have me. Whether I get more or less problems, the song is stating that I am giving my problems to God. May we trust God in the small and big things. My our trust be so strong in Christ that there are no boarders, no limit to our belief and faith in Jesus. 

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7

When I felt like I was drowning because I was so overwhelmed by my problems, I should have stopped looking around me. Talking on the phone to a friend, relative, significant other for hours will not give you peace the way God can in a second. Too often we turn to people before we turn to God. Go to the throne before you go to the phone. 

When you are starting to drown, remember Peter: 

 "Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:28-31. 

If we keep our eyes on Christ, our eyes are not on our problems.  
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

Why do we doubt? Why do we doubt that the Savior cannot save us? Nothing is too hard for God. Give him your problems, whether it be big or small. When we are slipping and we call out to him, he saves us immediately. (Psalm 94:18-19). 

When we lift our hands up in surrender, God grabs us and gives us authority over the enemy, over our problems, over our issues. (Luke 10:19). We can do the impossible! (Matthew 19:26).  We can walk over all the things that have tried to drown us. We can walk on water. 

The more we walk with God, the closer communion and fellowship we have with the savior, the more willing we are to do whatever he has called us. We have to fix our eyes on Christ, not on our problems. We have to accept his help (even if it's something you have to remind yourself to do alllll the time), and not allow ourselves to drown when there is a savior holding out his hand to save us. When we are walking over our problems, on our oceans, having trust in God, then we are more prone to letting him lead us to doing his will. 


fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

Love, 
Courtney  

A Fire Shut Up in My Bones

The prophet Jeremiah is a supreme example of  a man on fire for God. A man who gave God his all no matter how he appeared to others. Jeremiah, like us, lived in a fallen society. A time when people became their own gods, ignored the word of God, and shunned those who were real Christians.

It’s becoming clear that we are living in the last days. Jesus is coming back! And he's coming back really soon. Throughout the Bible, clear examples on how we should live our lives are provided. In Revelation, there are seven churches mentioned, most of them are used as examples on what not to do. I’ve been going with my sister to visit a few churches to help her find a church home. One thing that I have noticed in the last two churches we visited is that they are dead.

How did I know they were dead? There was no fire, no mass excitement, for being in the house of God. People stood there during praise and worship and did nothing (a few people did really worship though). I can not wrap my head around wanting God’s prescense to fill the atmosphere, but doing nothing to welcome him there. I understand people have different worship styles, but we cannot worship God in the flesh. We cannot worship God by not stepping out of our comfort zones to give him glory. Can’t we clap, lift our hands, and sing unto the creator of the universe? We can and we should. 

 

“…I know thy works, that though hast name that thou livest, and art dead” Revelation 3:1.  

I don’t know about you, but I do not want God to tell me that I’m dead. I am not just saying that you can be dead in your worship, but you can be dead in your life. We’re being spiritual zombies when we do not give God our all. Are we being complacent with were we are? Are we not really striving to reach the true source of life? Are we just going through the motions? These are serious questions because I’ve been there and done that. It fulfills nothing, not you and certainly not Jesus.

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Colassians 3:17. Everything you do, do it for the true Vine. Go to work letting God lead you; go help your neighbor to give God glory;  go worship God for God, not yourself; go pray to God and don’t offer a 60 second prayer before you drift off to sleep; go pour out your all.
The beautiful thing about the word of God is that he restores dead things to life. If you’re feeling dead, ask Jesus to awaken in you a fire and a zeal to worship Him.

When Jeremiah was mocked for serving God and he attempted to hold in his praise, he couldn’t.“His word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut uup in my bones” Jeremiah 20:9. 

 

My prayer is that we will not go through the motions with the most important relationship of  our lives, and that a fire will saturate and consume us. The beautiful thing about a fire is that it cannot be contained; it spreads to everything in its path. Be so on fire for God that it reaches the masses. 

(Note: This is not a piece intended to slam or throw shade. This is a piece that I hope allows the Holy Spirit to speak to you through, as it has fore me).

Peace and love.

Great songs: Matthew West "The Motions" https://youtu.be/FA6lC40Dlf0. Will Regan "Set a Fire" https://youtu.be/1nBa9a0lva8

Fill Me Up

I recently went to the 2015 Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta, Geogeria, and let me tell you, it was AMAZING. Seriously, some life altering stuff went down there. Thanks to the Holy Ghost and some willing vessels. I can go on and on about all the things I learned there, but I’ll talk about what God laid on my heart.

 

So during one of the worship sessions, the crowd began to sing: “Fill me up so that I can overflow”

 

 I was out there singing out and enjoying myself, but then it really hit me when I made it back to my hotel.

 

I had spent majority of my Spring semester feeling entirely drained. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and drowning. I am over a few of the ministries at church including the drama team and accountability ministry. People would show up late to practice unapologetically, ignore my texts, and I felt pretty disrespected.

 

The thing is that I was over these ministries for a couple of years, but last semester really got me down. Why? I let people influence how I felt instead God. I let people dictate my emotions instead God. I would get annoyed and frustrated, when all I had to do was give it to God. (Matthew 11:28-30). If I had kept my eyes on Christ, instead of man and my situation, peace would have replaced my weariness. (Isisiah 26:3).

I didn't go into ministry to please people, I went to please God. I lost track of that.

 

I started to work unto man and not unto God. I wanted people to like the plays instead of keeping the focus solely on God. Yes, I got sidetracked part of the time, and for that I am deeply sorry. I put the woman’s ministry God told me to do on hold because I was tired.

 

You know why I was tired? Because I didn’t stay in God’s prescense like I needed to. The more you stay at Jesus’ feet, hungry and desperate for him, the more he fills you up.

 

God wants us to overflow.



If you keep pouring water into that cup, it will soon begin to pour out onto other things. That’s how we should be with Christ.



 

Let God fill you up until you overflow. Then, we could have our cups so filled with Christ that he keeps pouring out into us that we overflow. The more Jesus pours into us, all that living water will soon, then go out into the masses. You are so filled with Jesus that it gets to everyone else, and you are still filled.

 

I was boarderline dry last semester. I was over here dehydrated, and I was out there trying to give out what I didn’t have. I was not overflowing because I rushed my time with God. I didn’t go to him to get filled up like I needed to. How can we try to pour out what’s not in us? We can't.

 

He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Titus 3:6


https://youtu.be/Inywc7hW14s Fill Me Up by Casey J


Blessings!

 

Forgiveness.

We hear so many stories of Christ’s forgiveness. His dying on the cross to free and forgive us. God taking our sins and making them white as snow and throwing them in the sea of forgetfulness. But what if someone sins against us? What’s our responsibility to with forgiveness?

 

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: Matthew 6:14

 

I remember being a little girl, maybe around 9, and I was so infuriated at my mother. I went to sleep and woke up and was still furious. My mom called me in her room to talk, and that was something I totally didn’t want to do at all. Anyways, I went, and she told me about how not to go to bed angry. She showed me how this message was scriptural and how it was important to forgive. It was enough for me, and whatever I was mad at my mother I dropped it.

 

I’ve never been too much of a grudge holder, but those verse in Ephesians 4:26-27 recently spoke to me.

I had a summer school teacher who I seriously felt like was out to get me. She pretty much tried to cheated me out of an A. (If you know me, I’m an A student who really takes her grades seriously. I learning not to put my identity or worth in my grades, but that’s a whole other story). I was so aggravated that I told my friend and sister about it, and I went to sleep and even dreamed about my injustice.

 

 “In your anger do not sin”^[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27.

 

God mentions that it’s okay to be angry, but sin not. How did I sin? I went to sleep angry. You might be like, what’s the big deal with that, the thing is that it is a big deal. The Bible is a love letter with instructions on how to live a godly life. God’s word tells us not to go to sleep angry because it leaves us open to the devil’s attack. Staying angry, leads to bitterness and a foothold. A foothold is like having the devil’s foot in your door preventing you from closing it fully. Footholds become stronger, if you don’t kick the devil out completely. Ultimately, it  leads to a stronghold, which is when the devil has knocked down your door and is all up in your house. (What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19).

The devil wants us to stay angry so we don’t forgive. When we don’t forgive, the Heavenly Father will not forgive us.

But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Mark 11:26

I was  recently talking to one of my friends from high school, and we were talking about a guy who used to bully her. Even post-college, she has not forgiven him. I thought about how bound up we become with unforgiveness in our hearts, it is not freeing. That person is out living their lives, and we are stuck holding on to the past and what they did to us.

 

                                                                           

 

The pointblank picture here is that if we refuse to forgive, Christ will not forgive us. I’ve done some bad things, and my righteousness is like filthy rags. So, I pretty much really need a savior to forgive me. The thing is that hell is too hot and eternity is too long, so forgiveness is something I must do. For some, this may be a real task. Don’t try to do it on your own strength, rely on Christ to help you out. (Zecheriah 4:6, 2 Corinthians 12:9).

 

Let God take your heart one moment at a time.

 

 

Lord, teach us how to forgive.

 

Peace and Love.

https://youtu.be/-4h7XT1JNwk Andy Mineo's Bitter

In All Things…

Can we just take a moment to read James chapter 1 verse 1: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trails of many kinds. (And then continue to read the rest of the chapter. Some good stuff there).

 

Like for real? Count it all joy?

 

Well, ladies and gents. Yes. The storms of life will come, but Mark 4:35-41 reveals that even through the midst of it all, God is there. Now that is something to shout about!

 

Like many Christians today, I can find myself struggling to  to “count it all joy” in the midst of my storms.

 

 

When I was going through my struggles during my practicum (pre-student teaching), I didn’t realize that God was strengthening and preparing me to become better. When college was hard and I had allnighters, I didn’t conceptualize that it was preparing me for that degree. When I was going through sickness all last semester, I didn’t realize how much I turned to God to get me through.

 

You see that sometimes the storms of this life are God’s blessings in disguise.

 

In life we go through things so that we can go to Christ.

 

So the next time you don’t understand why you’re going through it, rejoice and know it will work out for your good.

 

 

God wouldn’t bring you to it, if he wouldn’t bring you through it.

Love,

Courtney

 

 https://youtu.be/T0RiyYbs5Ro Count It All Joy by the Winans