East to West

Today I cried my eyes out. Today I surrender all. 

I am writing this with an extreme revelation from God. I have struggled with forgiving myself. Forgetting my past. Letting go of my sins and letting God wash me white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18) 

Basically, my guilt  meant that I believed that the blood of Jesus is not strong enough to cover my sins. But what does the blood of Jesus do? It remits sin, gives life, justifies, saves us from wrath, it redeems.  (Matt. 26:28, John 6:53, Romans 5:9) I have been walking around with this belief that God can do everything for anybody but me. Don’t get me wrong, I know that God is all powerful. But somewhere deep down, I guess I’ve always figured that I wasn’t good enough. 

There’s this new word to me: grace. Well, maybe it’s not really new, but it’s meaning is becoming extraordinarily new to me. It can’t be measured, it can’t be earned, it will never stop for those whom love God. Grace is Free and unmerited favor of God. 

 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God---not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

God is grace, he is mercy, he is love. Guess what? He loves you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3). 

All of this is sort of a hard concept to grasp. Like, I am so unworthy, but I hear God saying “You are worth my love.” You see, even if everyone on earth was righteous and it was only you who were not, God still would have come down and died on the cross for you. He loves you that much. 

I know my natural mind will never fully be able to rationalize this concept, but I know with spiritual eyes I can begin to see this kind of forgiveness rationally. 

So as I was talking to my sister today, my inadequacy of believing I am unworthy of forgiveness came up. It was like the Holy Spirit spoke through  my sister.

"There is no sin too great that the blood of Jesus can’t cover. When Jesus died on the cross he took the weight of every sin upon himself. It was during that time that darkness fell, and God turned his face from him (Matthew 27:45-46). He took murder, fornication, homosexuality, suicidal thoughts, greed, pride, or whatever. HE TOOK EVERYTHING. Period. He has taken our sins and thrown it into the sea of forgetfulness! (Micah 7:19) It is not our call to go pick that weight back up. If God has forgotten, then you should too. "

P.S.- I wrote on sticky notes some promises of God to help me remember all that he has done and all that he has promised to do. I have placed these on the wall beside my bed, and I plan to read them everyday if needed. “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” Romans 10:17. So I will speak it until I see and believe it. I think it’s a great idea, so feel free to do the same!



P.P.S- Watch this video. It is so beautiful and expreses God’s loving forgiveness towards us awesomely. http://youtu.be/RwX_EpNR4CA  

God took your place on the cross. Let him have your guilt, your shame, and your sins. He is not a God of condemnation. 

Repent and keep moving forward. 

Love, 
Courtney