Stop Playing Church Games

We enter the sanctuary. A smile here. Pleasantries there. Our outfits are put together. We look good, smell good, sound good; we appear good. But let's face it, many of us are very good actors. However, I can't help but to think of what happens when we leave church. Are we still the church? (See Ephesians 1:22-23 and Romans 16:5).  

We, Christians, are the body of Christ, his church. If we are God's church, do we live as we really should in representing Christ? Are we God's hands and feet? Are we displaying good fruit?  

 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them. Matthew 7:17-20

Do people even know you're a Christian? I remember working at a hair salon that I seriously hated a few years ago. A client came in for a haircut, and after a few minutes he asked me if I was a Christian. I was surprised how he even knew. Our conversation wasn't initially about God; I didn't have any markers to identify me as a Christian like a cross necklace or WWJD? bracelet. So, I told him that I was and asked him what was the giveaway of my beliefs. He responded, "There's a light about you." In the darkness of that salon filled with foul language, gossip, inappropriate music, and the flaunting of a lifestyle contradictory to God's word, I separated myself. I thank God for teaching me in my walk with Him to not just fit in with the crowd if it meant going against God's word. 

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.2 Corinthians 6:17.

The thing about being a Christian is that we can't look like the world, or we have to question our Christianity (See Romans 12:2). If we act like the rest of the world, how will people know we belong to Jesus? 

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew 5:16.

While the story of the man asking me if I was a Christian because of my light was probably one of the best compliments I've ever received, I can't help but to think that one of the worse things someone could say to me would be that they didn't know I was a believer. I went almost nine months at a job staying silent. I sat in at lunch listening to my co-workers talks of lust, drunkenness, and gossip, and I just sat there. While I didn't participate in the conversations, I certainly didn't separate myself. How could I go almost a full year without letting it be known I was a believer? It was because I was terrified. I was afraid of judgment. 

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10.  

Whose approval are you seeking? Are you going to church appearing super Christianly, but going to work or school appearing like the world? 

Let's agree to stop playing games and putting a Christian mask on when it's convenient. (See Revelation 3:16). 

Imagine walking up to God and hearing him declare, "I didn't know you were a Christian."  We'd be devastated. We can't keep putting on facade of this great church girl or guy. But when we leave the building, we put on our bad girl or boy routine. 

God wants the real, authentic you. Come as you are. If you are struggling with keeping your Christianity and faith on at all times, then know that you are not alone. God is a very present help. I remember coming to God so screwed up. I would raise my hands and clap in church, but then it was like I was another person the rest of the week. I came to God as girl who used to cuss so much that I cussed in my prayers. But I came---and He helped me to develop a relationship with Him. The "church face" I put on Sundays became my everyday. Jesus has helped me to do things that please Him. I'm not saying I have it all together, it's a struggle at times, but He helps me in my weaknesses and gives me strength. 

So, let's stop with church games, and let's have God make us real before Him. 

Love, 

Courtney

Jealous Much?

I looked at her wedding video with a smile on my face. Great for her! I thought. But I couldn't shake that nagging voice I wanted to ignore. Her life looks perfect...why can't I have that?

Jealous much?

Well...no. Yes? Maybe. In one of my many conversations with myself, (I'm not super weird, I promise!) I couldn't shake the notion that, that ugly seed of jealousy was growing.

Being off work means I honestly don't have much to do and a huge amount of my time involves me sitting at home creeping on Facebook. Ahhh, Facebook...why do Iove/hate you so much? Maybe it's just me but Facebook tends to be great tool to connect with friends and family, but it also seems to sometimes leave me feeling less than great about myself.

jeal·ous

ˈjeləs/

adjective: jealous

      1.

feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages

Jealousy. We've all been there. They have what we want. A seemingly great relationship, a stylish closet, a bank account that allows for travel, or a perfect job.

So if we all have feelings and God made feelings then we're in the clear to let our jealousy flourish. Right? Wrong.

Apostle Paul said it clearly, "For you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other...Aren't you living like people of the world?" 1 Corinthians 3:3

LOL

Christians, we cannot live like people of the world. Jesus said of his disciples, "They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world" John 17:16. What does this even mean? There should be a distinction between the people of God and the people of the world. We cannot do everything everyone else does because everyone is not trying to follow Jesus. This includes not letting jealousy take root.

God's guidelines are clear on the kind of love he wants his children to operate in: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5.  Being loving and envious is an oxymoron. We can't be a jealous, loving Christian. We can't say we love Christ and then not follow his word. It's like oil and water it just won't work.

So, this ugly "jealousy" feeling comes and goes for me sometimes. It usually comes when I'm on Facebook and feel like my life is not as spectacular compared to my social media friends. I usually "solve" this envying issue by cutting off my social media for a few weeks or months. So then, I'm all good, right? Eh...we'll sure until I find someone else's life who seems better than mines.

But, Jesus has been challenging me to look at the root. 

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

Jealousy makes you sick. Sick in your spirit. Sick in your body.  Sick in your mind. Let any sin take over your thought life, and eventually it will consume you. Letting sin in slowly takes Jesus out. You choose. Is it just a little jealousy and no big deal? A little sin is like being a little pregnant. Eventually it will come out.

So, keep your joy and peace by asking God to redirect your thoughts to him and all the things he's doing in your life.

If everyone had the same story, life would be incredibly boring. Enjoy your movie of life and whatever season God has you in.

Remember, be thankful. God is always good even when life is not.

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18.

Peace & Love.

Courtney

Do Not Settle

As I was talking to one of close friends the other day, the conversation jumped to relationships. Let's just say my 14 year old nephew has better relationship experience than me. My friend, with good intentions, told me that I should go for a guy who wasn't a Christian. So, I spent a good twenty minutes explaining to her why this is not negotiable. My friend is not really into the Christianity thing, so a lot of what I said may have fell on death ears. After our conversation, I kept mauling on the idea of why I absolutely must marry a Christian man. I think it's important to know the reasons for your beliefs so that you do not compromise.

Below are ten reasons I refuse to settle for a non-Christian man. It's okay if your reasons are different, but I think the reasons below are some things to think about before you get into your next relationship.

1). The Power of Prayer. Prayer is our communion with God. I want a guy that can talk with God and pray with me. There are times that it becomes difficult for me to even pray for myself, so I want a man who will cover me in prayer and not just well-wishes.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:18


Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16

Something else to keep in mind, "Less than 1 percent of couples who pray together daily end their marriages."

(Here's a really cool link of 17 things a husband can pray over his wife (or visa versa): https://husbandrevolution.com/17-verses-to-pray-over-your-wife/)

2). Spirit Not Flesh. There are many temptations that are present in this current world. A main one is premarital sex. I believe in sexual purity (whether you're virgin or born-again virgin).

“Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul” – 1 Peter 2:11

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Let's be honest. How many young men are serious about waiting for marriage if they are not into Jesus? Not many. I want a man who will submit to his spirit and not his flesh. Those controlled by the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:8.

3). Worship With Me. I want a man I can worship with; worship is one of best ways I connect with God. I love the times when I get lost in worship, and I want a guy right there beside me in worship mode.  (Psalm 150:6)

4). Follow Me as I Follow Christ. I believe in submitting to one's husband as according to scripture (Colossians 3:18). I'm a strong willed individual at times. If something doesn't sit right with me, it ain't gonna work! I cannot submit to nonsense. Submitting to a husband means you are putting your trust in this guy. I follow God. I cannot submit to a man who does not follow God and allow him to be the leader in our lives.

5). I've Heard Stories. There are plenty of enough testimonies about women who married or dated a guy who was not a believer and how screwed up things ended up turning out to scare me straight. Seriously talk to some of your family members, church sisters, or friends, and I'm sure someone can offer you relationship advice for  not settling.

6). Jesus is #1. A guy who doesn't believe in Jesus will not understand why he's number two. Jealousy happens. If I'm number two because Jesus is number one, then we're all good.

7). Pick up Your Cross. Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24. Last year, I had a guy who liked me and wanted me to date him; I liked him too. However, he was not a Christian. He was a decent guy, but I'm okay saying "no" to decent in order to say "yes" to the one God has for me. God will not send you someone who will hinder your walk with him.

8). Mothering Grown Men. It's a no for me. I remember growing up and my mom making me go to church. I used to put on an attitude and show my dissatisfaction.  Truth be told, it made me a little mad at my mom. In early college, I met a guy in church, expect he wasn't really about church. I remember texting him asking if he was going to church or Bible study, and most of the time the answer was "no." Looking back, I realize that I was trying to lead a guy in loving the Lord. You can't do that. It has to be that person's choice and the power of the Holy Spirit. You love the Lord because you want to, not because you're forced to.

9). Unequally Yoked. No, not eggs. Sis, if you need anymore reason on why not to date out of your beliefs then look in the Bible.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

10). What about the Kids? Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3. Amos' rhetorical question's answer is a strong "they can't." Don't just take it from me, take it from God's word. It has to be harder for the kids if their parents have two different belief systems. Which one do they pick? Even if you decide to combine beliefs, are you really being loyal to God?


Some of you may be asking, "But I'm already married to an unbeliever." Okay, the cool thing is that the Bible speaks on this topic as well. Below are some verses to meditate and apply for your marriage.

"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband…” 1 Corinthians 7:13-14
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,  1 Peter 3:1

Alright, I'm finally done now. Whew!

Blessings!

Courtney

God is the Good

"Hell on earth" I mumbled under my breath as my vision became blurred with anger.

This reference of "hell" was towards my teaching career. I graduated college with this unrealistic hope of changing the lives of each of my students. I left my high school English teacher career realizing that while I did not positively touch all my students, I at least touched a few.

If you have spoken to me about my teaching experience over the last two years, you probably could have sensed my dissatisfaction. While everything has not been completely rosy and perfect, I don't regret this season. Yes, I wish things could have been smoother, but it's okay that it wasn't. Even though I didn't think I'd make it at times, I've learned so much about people and myself. While going through these last two school years felt unbearable at times, I understand why I had to go through it more now. (I won't go into detail here because that is an entirely different blog post).

Romans 8:28- All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

Yes, this scripture is probably one of the most quoted, but it has such life to it. In my different seasons of life, it has had different meanings and interpretations for me(Hebrews 4:12).  

"All things work together for the good," but through it all, I realize that the "good" is God. Through the sleepless nights, blinding fears, enflamed anger---there was only one person I could be completely honest with in my desperate moments. Jesus. For a touch of his hand, a glimpse of his face, and a piece of his undeniable peace made it all worth it.

"Sometimes the storms of this life are God's blessings in disguise" -Laura Story


Peace and Love,

Courtney

When Jesus Looked Up

"When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up..."  Luke 19:5

Luke 19:1-10 recounts the story of Zacchaeus the tax collector and Jesus. While I have never held the title "tax collector," this anecdote spoke to me in profound ways.

Tax collectors were shunned, outsiders, ostracized, avoided. They were sinners.

This passage speaks to the "tax collector" in all of us.

Zacchaeus was chief tax collector and had gained his wealth through cheating people.We can presume that this guy had heard of Jesus but did not know who he was, yet he went out and climbed a tree to catch a glimpse of this man.

Stop here real quick. So, this guy who doesn't even know the King of kings, goes out of his way to catch a glimpse of Jesus. Heart check. When was the last time you desired to see God so much that you did all you could do to view his face?

Okay, back to story. Jesus approaches the sycamore-fig tree that homeboy, Zacchaeus, is chilling in. Instead of walking on past this tax collector, this sinner, Jesus stops and seeks him out. "When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, 'Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today'" Luke 19:5. What's so profound about this scene is that Jesus wanted to not only speak to this man but to dwell with him.

God doesn't care about your sins nearly as much as he cares about you. Hear me out here. God reached Zacchaeus where he was, and yet, still, God wanted to be with him. God doesn't care the label of sin given to you: tax collector, greedy, lustful, homosexual, bitter, murderer, etc. He just wants you.

The amazing this is that when we readily welcome Jesus into our lives, he changes us. At the end of this story about Zacchaeus, he promises to give to the poor and return that what he had stolen.

Let God cleanse you from the inside out.

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost" Luke 19:10

Through God's Eyes

 "How does the world influence you?"

This question was asked to me and a group of women I was communing with during Bible study. The study was ironically called "Get Free." A woman in her thirties hesitantly offered to share her response first. She began by telling how in society, women are given this ideal of beauty and expectations and how she felt she did not fit these expectations. She grievously spoke about how she didn't like her hair, teeth, and the fact that she didn't wear make-up.

She then turn to me and complimented me on how put together I looked. My first response was to criticize myself.

I felt God's heart in that moment, and I was reminded of the scripture I had seen earlier that day.

 For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10

Christ's masterpiece.

God does not make mistakes. We are all beautiful in our own way.

You want to know the real purpose of our bodies? It's not to fit a certain jean size, to look good in a swimsuit, or to have perfect hair.  It's to bring honor to God. Yes, honor your temple (a dwelling place of God, for he lives in us. We can do this by being devoted to worship and welcoming him into every aspect of our lives). (See 1 Corinthians 6:12-20). So, take care of yourself, but understand that true beauty comes from within (See 1 Peter 3:3-4). God looks at the heart (See 1 Samuel 16:7).

Imagine if we didn't look at ourselves or other people with judgmental eyes when we fall below society's beauty standards. Begin to see yourself through God's eyes....

Eyes that saw you in your mother's womb and intricately knit you together according to his perfection (See Psalm 139:13).

My beloved..."You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you" Song of Solomon 4:7



Peace and Love,

Courtney