Do Not Settle

As I was talking to one of close friends the other day, the conversation jumped to relationships. Let's just say my 14 year old nephew has better relationship experience than me. My friend, with good intentions, told me that I should go for a guy who wasn't a Christian. So, I spent a good twenty minutes explaining to her why this is not negotiable. My friend is not really into the Christianity thing, so a lot of what I said may have fell on death ears. After our conversation, I kept mauling on the idea of why I absolutely must marry a Christian man. I think it's important to know the reasons for your beliefs so that you do not compromise.

Below are ten reasons I refuse to settle for a non-Christian man. It's okay if your reasons are different, but I think the reasons below are some things to think about before you get into your next relationship.

1). The Power of Prayer. Prayer is our communion with God. I want a guy that can talk with God and pray with me. There are times that it becomes difficult for me to even pray for myself, so I want a man who will cover me in prayer and not just well-wishes.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:18


Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16

Something else to keep in mind, "Less than 1 percent of couples who pray together daily end their marriages."

(Here's a really cool link of 17 things a husband can pray over his wife (or visa versa): https://husbandrevolution.com/17-verses-to-pray-over-your-wife/)

2). Spirit Not Flesh. There are many temptations that are present in this current world. A main one is premarital sex. I believe in sexual purity (whether you're virgin or born-again virgin).

“Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul” – 1 Peter 2:11

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Let's be honest. How many young men are serious about waiting for marriage if they are not into Jesus? Not many. I want a man who will submit to his spirit and not his flesh. Those controlled by the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:8.

3). Worship With Me. I want a man I can worship with; worship is one of best ways I connect with God. I love the times when I get lost in worship, and I want a guy right there beside me in worship mode.  (Psalm 150:6)

4). Follow Me as I Follow Christ. I believe in submitting to one's husband as according to scripture (Colossians 3:18). I'm a strong willed individual at times. If something doesn't sit right with me, it ain't gonna work! I cannot submit to nonsense. Submitting to a husband means you are putting your trust in this guy. I follow God. I cannot submit to a man who does not follow God and allow him to be the leader in our lives.

5). I've Heard Stories. There are plenty of enough testimonies about women who married or dated a guy who was not a believer and how screwed up things ended up turning out to scare me straight. Seriously talk to some of your family members, church sisters, or friends, and I'm sure someone can offer you relationship advice for  not settling.

6). Jesus is #1. A guy who doesn't believe in Jesus will not understand why he's number two. Jealousy happens. If I'm number two because Jesus is number one, then we're all good.

7). Pick up Your Cross. Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24. Last year, I had a guy who liked me and wanted me to date him; I liked him too. However, he was not a Christian. He was a decent guy, but I'm okay saying "no" to decent in order to say "yes" to the one God has for me. God will not send you someone who will hinder your walk with him.

8). Mothering Grown Men. It's a no for me. I remember growing up and my mom making me go to church. I used to put on an attitude and show my dissatisfaction.  Truth be told, it made me a little mad at my mom. In early college, I met a guy in church, expect he wasn't really about church. I remember texting him asking if he was going to church or Bible study, and most of the time the answer was "no." Looking back, I realize that I was trying to lead a guy in loving the Lord. You can't do that. It has to be that person's choice and the power of the Holy Spirit. You love the Lord because you want to, not because you're forced to.

9). Unequally Yoked. No, not eggs. Sis, if you need anymore reason on why not to date out of your beliefs then look in the Bible.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

10). What about the Kids? Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3. Amos' rhetorical question's answer is a strong "they can't." Don't just take it from me, take it from God's word. It has to be harder for the kids if their parents have two different belief systems. Which one do they pick? Even if you decide to combine beliefs, are you really being loyal to God?


Some of you may be asking, "But I'm already married to an unbeliever." Okay, the cool thing is that the Bible speaks on this topic as well. Below are some verses to meditate and apply for your marriage.

"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband…” 1 Corinthians 7:13-14
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,  1 Peter 3:1

Alright, I'm finally done now. Whew!

Blessings!

Courtney

God is the Good

"Hell on earth" I mumbled under my breath as my vision became blurred with anger.

This reference of "hell" was towards my teaching career. I graduated college with this unrealistic hope of changing the lives of each of my students. I left my high school English teacher career realizing that while I did not positively touch all my students, I at least touched a few.

If you have spoken to me about my teaching experience over the last two years, you probably could have sensed my dissatisfaction. While everything has not been completely rosy and perfect, I don't regret this season. Yes, I wish things could have been smoother, but it's okay that it wasn't. Even though I didn't think I'd make it at times, I've learned so much about people and myself. While going through these last two school years felt unbearable at times, I understand why I had to go through it more now. (I won't go into detail here because that is an entirely different blog post).

Romans 8:28- All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

Yes, this scripture is probably one of the most quoted, but it has such life to it. In my different seasons of life, it has had different meanings and interpretations for me(Hebrews 4:12).  

"All things work together for the good," but through it all, I realize that the "good" is God. Through the sleepless nights, blinding fears, enflamed anger---there was only one person I could be completely honest with in my desperate moments. Jesus. For a touch of his hand, a glimpse of his face, and a piece of his undeniable peace made it all worth it.

"Sometimes the storms of this life are God's blessings in disguise" -Laura Story


Peace and Love,

Courtney

When Jesus Looked Up

"When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up..."  Luke 19:5

Luke 19:1-10 recounts the story of Zacchaeus the tax collector and Jesus. While I have never held the title "tax collector," this anecdote spoke to me in profound ways.

Tax collectors were shunned, outsiders, ostracized, avoided. They were sinners.

This passage speaks to the "tax collector" in all of us.

Zacchaeus was chief tax collector and had gained his wealth through cheating people.We can presume that this guy had heard of Jesus but did not know who he was, yet he went out and climbed a tree to catch a glimpse of this man.

Stop here real quick. So, this guy who doesn't even know the King of kings, goes out of his way to catch a glimpse of Jesus. Heart check. When was the last time you desired to see God so much that you did all you could do to view his face?

Okay, back to story. Jesus approaches the sycamore-fig tree that homeboy, Zacchaeus, is chilling in. Instead of walking on past this tax collector, this sinner, Jesus stops and seeks him out. "When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, 'Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today'" Luke 19:5. What's so profound about this scene is that Jesus wanted to not only speak to this man but to dwell with him.

God doesn't care about your sins nearly as much as he cares about you. Hear me out here. God reached Zacchaeus where he was, and yet, still, God wanted to be with him. God doesn't care the label of sin given to you: tax collector, greedy, lustful, homosexual, bitter, murderer, etc. He just wants you.

The amazing this is that when we readily welcome Jesus into our lives, he changes us. At the end of this story about Zacchaeus, he promises to give to the poor and return that what he had stolen.

Let God cleanse you from the inside out.

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost" Luke 19:10