The Holiday Blues

 2020 will forever be remembered as the year we lost. All around the world, people lost loved ones, jobs, and homes. However, I'm here to remind you that with God we win. It may seem difficult right now but position your eyes to things that are above (Colossians 3). 

With the year many of us had, it may not be the easiest holiday season for some of us. This is my second Christmas without my mom since she passed away last August. Last Christmas was difficult, but not as hard as this year because I had a boyfriend who tried to make the holiday special. Now, this year, I am left to navigate the holiday without my mother and as a single 28-year-old. Look, life does not always go as planned, and it's okay to grieve what was. The thing is that we shouldn't stay in difficult seasons forever. Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that there is a season/time for everything. I'm not telling you that you must get out and act like everything is perfectly fine this holiday season because it may not be perfectly fine for you. It's not for me. We all have different situations, and our feelings are valid. 

I spent part of the day laying in bed feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in my misfortunes. I attempted to video call my friends, but seeing them around their families while I'm at home alone with my cat made me feel happy for them but incredibly sad for myself. This is my less than perfect truth. I want my momma. I want to be married with children. I want Christmas gifts. But in my funk, I failed to recognize all that I do have. I have a sister and nephew I get to visit tomorrow. I have food in the fridge and a roof over my head. I have bills that are paid. I have life. I have salvation. I have Jesus Christ who calls me to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). And in my thanksgiving, my mood shifted. I'm not saying that I don't have pain anymore, but my pain does not have me.

The thing is that this holiday season will look different for many of us. If you have lost deeply this year, I am truly sorry. Your pain is real and valid, but I encourage you to rejoice even in the midst. While in prison, the Apostle Paul reminds us to rejoice in the Lord always, pray and petition to God, and give thanks so that God's peace can guard our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:4-9). This is not an easy task. Honestly, there are times when my hurts are so deep that I must depend on the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf because I can't even speak or think straight (Romans 8:26). One of the amazing things about God is that he will meet you where you at, and he will help you. 

My thoughts and prayers are with anyone going through troubling times, and I hope that you will meet with God to help you through. I also offer a reminder that we also remember the meaning behind Christmas. Christmas is about Jesus humbling himself to be born of a virgin to save the world from their sins, and this is the greatest Christmas gift. 

Peace and love, 

Courtney 

Are You Giving Up Your Birthright?

During some seasons in my life, there are certain Bible characters that I can really relate to. Unfortunately, it’s not John, Enoch, or Esther, instead it’s Saul, Jonah, and Esau. The people who didn’t trust God wholeheartedly and turned to their own devices. It’s the people who knew right but chose to do wrong. Those are the people from the Bible whose stories I’m drawn to simply because they remind me of my own.

One person I read with a sympathetic eye is Esau. He was the firstborn twin of Issac and Rebekah who sold his birthright for a bowl of soup (See Genesis 25:19-34). The first time heard about this story was when I was 8 or so during children's church. It made absolutely no sense. Why would someone give up their inheritance for a bowl of soup? Did he not know how many bowls of soup he could buy with his birthright?

Maybe he did but at that moment he wanted soup. Esau's story didn't make sense to me until I got into a relationship where premarital sex was apart of it. It was then that I realized that I was willing to trade a moment of satisfaction for an eternity with God in heaven. 

The Bible is clear. Fornication is a sin regardless of how passionate a moment is, regardless of if you plan to marry that person, etc. The Bible reminds us that our bodies are a temple and we must not sin against it for our own protection (i.e. children born out of wedlock, soul ties). (See 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). 

I draw a connection between sexual immorality and Esaus especially when he shows up again later in the New Testament: "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God...that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears" Hebrews 12:15-17. 

I think it's purposeful that "sexually immoral or unholy like Esau" are grouped together. Yes, there are other sins that could have been placed here, but the connection between Esau and those who offer up their birthright for something so temporal is strong. 

Andy Mineo summed it up nicely in his song, "Tug of War," "Then after smashing I'm sitting there asking/If eternity in Hell is worth some moments of your satisfaction[?]"

My urge to anyone reading this is to repent before it is too late. We don't know when our time on earth will be done nor do we know when Jesus will return for his church, but we do know that we can learn from Esau. Our birthright is heaven, so let's not be like Esau who could not repent and receive his inheritance. 

Best, 

Courtney

Dealing with Difficult Co-workers

I haven't been working for a super long time, only about eight years or so. But I've held a variety of jobs as a teacher, barista, librarian, cosmetologist, tutor, etc. In my different fields, I've learned that working with an assortment of people means that you will be laboring with a plethora of personalities. This means that most of us have had to deal with some very difficult people at the job.

There are people who will dislike you for just being you, people who don't do their fair share of the work, people who  love to gossip, people who are disrespectful, and everyone in between. When dealing with difficult people, it's easy to just become difficult right back. But, as Christians, we are called to a higher standard. We are called to live righteously. 

Below are some times on how to deal with difficult co-workers:

1. Turn the other cheek. This is probably one of the hardest commandments, but Jesus calls us to refrain from retaliating when being attacked or insulted (See Matthew 5:38-40). This does not mean be a pushover or let someone disrespect you. Nevertheless, I think about Jesus being lead to the cross and how he could have said and did so much, but he held his tongue (See Isaiah 53:7). He provides the perfect example on how to behave towards haters. 

2. Bless those who curse you. In the beautides, Jesus provides a clear example on what to do with those who are not kind towards you: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Matthew 5:44

I had a coworker who I knew was talking behind my backs and my Christian-based beliefs. My first reaction was to be angry and tell her a piece of my mind, but I felt God telling me to be kind to her despite what I was feeling. So, all I could do was smile at her when I passed her in the hallway. I know it wasn't much, but it took a lot out of me, and I hope I was able to display the love of Christ within me. 

3. Lift them up. Pray, pray, and pray some more. If I can be completely honest here, there are some co-workers I wished I could hate. But it's awfully hard to hate someone when you're pleading the blood of Jesus over them and praying for his will to be done in their life. When you pray sincere prayers for people, it helps to change the position of your heart. 

Sometimes the people we seem to be fighting against are actually spirits working within them (See Ephesians 6:12). The truth is that on our own, we are no match for the demons in hell. We need to ask for God's strength to meet us in our weaknesses (See 2 Corinthians 12:9). Before we even try to approach people with a nasty spirit, we need to be in prayer and filled with God's Holy Spirit. 

Also, some of us enter and work at demonic heavy places. I certainly know this from working at a high school. Before I would even go to work, I would get prayed up and anoint myself and my classroom because sometimes you really don't know what/who you might approach that day.

The only way we can bring down strongholds or deal with difficult people is through the power of God and tapping into prayer that binds all our weapons of warfare together (See Ephesians 6).

I still truly believe that God will go before us on our difficult workplaces if we ask him. 

Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Deuteronomy 31:6

So, go to work, do your job as if you're working for the Lord (See Colossians 3:23), keep your head high, and be a light and witness for God. He knows  what you're going through, and he cares. 

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a stronger tower from the enemy. Psalm 61:2-3.


                                                  

Blessings :)

Courtney 

When You Feel Distant From God

There are times in our lives when we feel like we are on top of the world, ready to take on anything life throws at us. Other times, we are struggling to barely get by. 

The past three or so years have been extremely difficult for me with different challenging, external forces thrown at me back to back. In these dark moments, it can be hard to see the light of God. Just recently (like earlier this month) I could feel myself walking around in shell of myself. It was like I was in a haze, and the worries of this life blurred my vision from God. 

I'm sure I'm not the only one who felt like their prayers were getting no where and were stopping short of the throne of God. 

It's in moments like these that we have to remind ourselves of God's promises in the Bible. 

Yes, the Romans 8:28 and Jerimiah 29:11s. 

But, we must also consider why it seems like we are so far from God. Is it a sin you've allowed into your heart that has numbed God's voice? (Ephesians 4:30)  Eliminate anything that doesn't draw you closer to God.

   Even if you are in this desert season, you have to declare that you will trust God and you will worship...and then do it. You have to remind yourself that sometimes your feelings are not always accurate, but God is still  truth. During these distant/weary/dry seasons, you have to stay close to the source.

We have to depend on God like we depend on oxygen for our next breath. We may not always see the air around us, but we know that we need it to survive. In times that we can't see God, we have to remind ourselves that we need him more than anything.

We have to stay close to the fire of God or we will grow lukewarm. Keep pressing. Keep praying, reading your word, keep worshiping, keep attending church, keep fighting to touch the hem of Jesus' garment. For we know that one touch from the Lord, changes everything. 

Yes, it can be hard to see God during life's difficult moments. Yet in those times we are trying to hold onto God, we find that he is actually holding onto us. 

In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. Isaiah 58:9

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWPABE3gycs 

Love, 

Courtney 

Be a Light

He looked at me with surprise in his eyes. “You came from there?” I offered a tight smile, but even then, I could feel God’s conviction tugging at my heart.

I was out with my grad school cohort. We begun the evening at a restaurant, but soon we ended up at a bar. All around me, people drank in excess and participate in things contrary to God’s word. I was good right? I didn’t drink. I didn’t swear. I didn’t do the things others were doing. But even still, I knew I didn’t belong there.

Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of the light - Ephesians 5:7-8.

Honestly, I sometimes grabble with the fact that I cannot do everything everyone else in the world does. I’m a twenty something back on a college campus and the temptation to indulge in the things of the world is real. 

During my bar episode, I texted my friend to let her know where I was at.  To my surprise, she stopped by to see me. She sat with me with a lot on her mind, but I did not want her to convict me by saying what we were both thinking. She offered to take me home, but I turned down her offer. After a few minutes, she decided to leave, so I walked outside with her. Outside, we ran into a new guy from church. He was shocked seeing me walk out of a bar, since he had only seen me active in church as of yet.

Throughout this night, I could feel God stirring in my spirit. God in his sufficiency still provided several  ways out of temptation and didn't allow me to be tempted beyond what I could stand (1 Corinthians 10:13). First with my own personal conviction, next with my friend offering to take me home, and then with running into the man from church. Listen, we are called to shun the appearance of evil, but I instead participated in it (1 Thessalonians 5:22).

I get that some of you reading this are probably like, “What’s the big deal?” The deal is that regardless of the situation, we are all called to be in the world and not of it. God gives us specific guidelines of what we should and should not do. He specifically says, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good characters’” 1 Corinthians 15:33. He wants us to use wisdom on who we associate with because it can lead to us being in situations that are less than God’s best.

Christians, the truth is that we cannot say yes to everything. We truly are held to a higher standard. Even though things may be lawful, many things are not edifying to the spirit (1 Corinthians 10:23).  So, the next time we find ourselves in situations that seeming perfectly fine at first glance, gossiping, smoking, getting drunk, premarital sex, ask yourself is this really going to bring me closer to God?

Let’s not compromise. As Christians, we should not look like the world, for the world is trapped in darkness. Let us be lights of the world, and may everything that we do bring glory and honor to Jesus (Matthew 5:14-16, Colossians 3:17, & 1 Corinthians 10:31)

Love,

Courtney

The Philippians 4:8 Test

Many years ago, in my teen study Bible, I ran across this devotional that referenced a  "Philippians 4:8 Test" and forever my walk with God was challenged. 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things Philippians 4:8

Basically, the test involves putting every questionable show, song lyric, movie, or whatever to the characteristics present in the verse.

For instances, Is this show true? Is it honest? Is it just? Is it pure? Is it lovely? Is it of good report? Is it something God would want me to think on?

If the answer to any of the above questions is no, then it’s a no go.

It’s a practice I still use today, and it really helps to me to guard my spirit against unrighteous things.

Trust me, I know it is not easy at all. I used to listen and watch any and everything my heart desired. Going to rated R movies as a young child was just something I did. As I grew up, it became easy to continue do what I had always done.

This was not an overnight process.

 There were times that I judged Lil Wayne songs as “okay” because I really wanted to listen to it. I know this may sound like too much for some, and trust me, I’ve been there. But as we truly pray and seek God, his desires become our desires. I’m still a work in progress. 

As you truly surrender to God, he will speak to you and help you to choose things that are holy and just.

Love,

Courtney